FINALLY!

Sorry I haven't blogged lately, but I have been in a bit of a funk. There is a lot going on right now with my personal life and I have just been having a pity party. The bright side came today when I saw the new psychiatrist. As you know, worker's comp made me switch Dr's after almost 8 months of seeing the one they chose for me. I was a bit apprehensive today, wondering if this was going to be a big waste of time, and if he would "get" me and my tinnitus.
The office itself was beautiful and very welcoming. The receptionist was very nice and offered me soda, water etc. Finally, I was greeted by Dr P, who was very warm, and just seemed like a nice guy. My guard was still up some as we sat down to talk. Of course talking about the accident and my tinnitus involves tears and sobbing, but he was patient. We discussed a lot of things, and he informed me that he was a bit surprised at what workman's comp did with the handeling of switching doctors. He let me know that he does not work for the insurance company, and had no obligations to them only to me.
As we discussed the accident, he was very empathetic, and very thorough on what tests were done on me, what doctors I have seen, and just listened to me and I felt like he "understood" my depression and frustrations.
Then he let's me know that 5 years ago his daughter's boyfriend, the love of her life was struck by lightening and killed on a beach. I know, how AWFUL, BUT the positive was that I finally found someone who understood first hand what lightening can do. Granted it didn't kill ME, but it did kill a part of me, it took parts of my life away. He wasn't telling me to get over it or suck it up, he was saying let's try to figure out how to help you, and if there is something out there that hasn't been tried yet. I swear I wanted to hug that man!
It's hard to explain, but most of the time I feel like the doctors are just going through the motion of seeing me, with no expectation of doing more then that. While I know Dr P is not going to cure me, I feel like he is the most able to kind of understand me, and seems willing to help me search for answers, treatments, or at the very least coping skills.
I am emotionally drained, but hopeful, and looking forward to seeing him again on the 21st.

Another year has passed

So my birthday came and went and I celebrated by hanging out in my bathroom! Yep, sick as a dog. On a positive note I was so sick and dehydrated that I slept! Of course it was that sick sleep where your not really sleeping because your running to the bathroom for one reason or another, but it was sleep none the less.
I had a busy weekend celebrating Memorial Day, and was actually having a good time, until my cousin thought it would be funny to set a VERY loud firecracker off 5 ft from where I was sitting. The PAIN in my ear was horrendous, and the tinnitus spiked about 50 X's louder then it's original annoyance I immediately had to leave.It lasted until late Sunday afternoon, at which time I attended another party that had the BEST authentic Mexican food. I adore Mexican food, and Ricardo and Jessica did not disappoint.
Monday I started getting that sick feeling, and I thought it was the shots of Captain Morgan I took, hey I'll try anything to rid myself of tinnitus for just a short time, and for the record it didn't work. By Monday afternoon I was really NOT feeling well, and I started getting sick Monday night and that lasted all day and night Tuesday.
Today I felt 90% better, so I headed to the hospital to see my BFF since 4th grade Joey. He has a really bad case of staph in his face, poor thing. They lanced it and he will need a few more days (already in there 3 days) of IV antibiotics. On my way home from the hospital I stopped at Ross and treated myself to 3 summer dresses.
Summer dresses are my new love! I NEVER wore them before and man I wish I had! First they hide the little body flaws that start creeping up on you when you pass 40, and second they are so damn comfy and cool! I got 3 dresses, 2 are to rock my new shoes! AH MY SHOES!!!!!!!!! They are HOT, they are also high as all get out and I may break my neck, but I'll look damn good breaking it :)  I will post pics of these shoes when I remember to charge my camera.
On the way home from Ross, and on my way grocery shopping I called my other BFF since fourth grade Krissy. I swear her and I can go months of not talking (just from busy daily life, that woman is always on the run!) but as soon as we talk again we regress to teenage gossipers and we LAUGH! I'm talking laugh until you cry laugh. I am making it my mission to get to her house for a visit very soon! I miss her!
So that was my day. There is actually a little more that went on today, but I'll share that maybe tomorrow. I will probably have my Toddlers and Tiaras rant tomorrow too, so get ready :)